30 reasons at 30 I don’t have my sh*t together…

Around 6 months ago I went on a date with a younger guy who told me at 30 I should have my sh*t together. I was initially shocked and thought hey I have a good job and my own home so I am pretty much there…right? I mean yes I like to go out and get white girl waste every now and again but I am still youngish(ish) free and single so why not.

Bearing the above in mind see below some of the reasons others may think I don’t have my so called sh*t together:

  1. I can’t get a date. (I am trying)
  2. Can’t even get a match on tinder.
  3. I never match my underwear (unless I have a date).
  4. When I do date I make very bad decisions.
  5. My clock has been stuck at 8.45 for at least two months.
  6. The light bulb in my lounge ran out maybe 3 months ago.
  7. I have a rug in my living room I’ve hated pretty much since I bought it 5 years ago.
  8. Sometimes my hair is more dry shampoo than hair (I think a lot of girls will relate to this one).
  9. I often have major roots.
  10. I wear unmatching socks.
  11. I have a slight phobia of bananas (I accidently once said fetish instead of phobia..awks).
  12. My bedroom is often more clothes than floor.
  13. I have held around two babies in my life.
  14. I thought memes was pronounced me me’s.
  15. I eat peas frozen from the bag.
  16. I would happily microwave a cold cup of tea.
  17. The 5 second rule is true (there is research to back this up).
  18. One drawer in my chest of drawers has been broken for circa 3 years.
  19. I killed a house plant and it’s been sat there for months all dead.
  20. I often have single dinners (a bowl of cereal or alike).
  21. I’ve never had a pedicure.
  22. I often get to work and realise I have toothpaste/ a stain on my clothes (toothpaste on my boob today….looked slightly suspicious).
  23. I eat pickles gherkins/ onions from a jar.
  24. I’m my twenties (apart from student days obvs) I didn’t go in my overdraft. Since being 30 I have been for a good few months.
  25. I don’t feel confident in my job (its new so hopefully I will get there).
  26. When I go home to see my parents I have the ability to turn into a hormonal teenager within minutes.
  27. Last month I stole a succulent plant from a bar when drunk (what am I a student!?).
  28. Pick and Mix is almost as enjoyable as (good) sex.
  29. I dislike my own company (I thought by 30 I would be able to tolerate my company…not so).
  30. I still watch Hollyoaks.

Hopefully you have related to some of those on that list and agree that we all have flaws and at whatever age we all have some secret single behaviours (well mine aren’t so secret anymore).


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